Intrapersonal Communication and Healing

The human brain is an incredible creation and we have not yet scratched the surface of its real potential. The purpose of this article is to give you a framework for how to use your brain to perceive a broader view than we usually use. The majority of us have a constant focus on our thinking mind. This has been a necessity to advance society, science and personal interactions.  This new framework does not limit the potential of our mind, but it includes certain aspects of the brain that we overlook.

Start with the way we use our brain every day. This is the part of you that you identify as me; this is the way I am. This consists of all of our past conditioning, our intellect and our emotional patterns. When a person is satisfied with this, they have no desire to change it. When a person realizes they can go far beyond what is normal and better the quality of their life, they are very open to change. This article will not give you specific things to change, but it will teach you tools that will lead you into a different view of your life.

Let us look at how we interact with the world, which I call Interpersonal Communication. We do that with perceptions and conceptions, with thoughts and emotions, with goals and intellect, with hopes and dreams and all of the functions of the mind. This creates our personality and what we identify with. This group is where almost everyone focuses and thinks is reality. There is more that too often gets overlooked and that is what I call Intrapersonal Communications.

We all have the potential of developing Intrapersonal Communication. Because we are attached to our thinking mind, it is hard to connect to a beyond thought reality and experience higher states of consciousness. Our thoughts create a filter that limits our awareness. If you remove the filter, your awareness is not filtered and you can operate at a higher state of consciousness.   When we are open to that Intrapersonal Communication, the quality of life improves and we feel as though we are moved by a higher consciousness rather than our usual state of mind.

Most people have a dominant focus. Their focus is either primarily interpersonal or intrapersonal. To create a whole person, we have to harmonize these two perspectives, so that they work together. When we deal with issues of health, it is essential for us to be aware of how to use intra and interpersonal communication. A person who primarily uses interpersonal communication will look outside for the solution to their problem.  They will rely mostly on their doctor and medication. They will think about it, study it and feel prepared to meet that challenge. This is a very good way for a person with an interpersonal perspective to deal with it, but there are negative examples also.

For instance, if they are dealing with cancer and their grandmother and mother died from cancer, this will create worry and fear, which will inhibit the immune system. If they experience doubt in their doctor, they may not follow his directions wholeheartedly and may limit their ability to heal. You can see that there are positives and negatives to focusing on thoughts with interpersonal communication. No matter what you think, you have to go beyond your thoughts and be open to powerful inner resources to heal at your full potential. To do that you need to develop intrapersonal communications.

With interpersonal communication, your focus is external and with intrapersonal communication, your focus turns within. With an external focus, we are in a “doer” state of mind. With an internal focus, we have to develop a “receiver” state of mind. Instead of thinking and doing, you have to be open and receive powerful inner resources or the input of others. This is where the Wisdom of the Body actively participates in healing. If you are focused on thinking, inner wisdom gets a busy signal when it calls and inner resources get ignored.

Here is an example of not being receptive to another’s input. You go to the doctor with intense pain and fear of what is happening to you. When you share what is wrong with the doctor and you constantly focus on those thoughts, it is hard to hear what the doctor has to say. To be receptive, you have to develop intrapersonal communication, where the Wisdom of the Body receives what is said. If you are constantly thinking while talking to the doctor, it is hard to receive his advice without putting it into the folders you already believe in.  You have to develop intrapersonal communication, so it becomes a habit. Being receptive is not an on/off switch. You do not think, ’I am going to be receptive.’ It has to happen naturally after intrapersonal communication is developed.

Healing is a good example for having inter and intra communications work as a team. A life and death situation demands that teamwork, but it is also needed in most of the actions we do. Communication is a good example. When the focus is mostly on interpersonal communications, you will be conscious on what you say and how you act. Of course that is important, but there is more. Intrapersonal communications may determine how you listen and receive new ideas.

To be a whole person, you have to use every part of your body harmoniously working as a team. This article deals with a major part of this, but actually, it only scratches the surface.  Making discoveries like this creates an awe to this incredible mystery…keep going because this is an endless journey.

© 2015 Marc Lerner


Dealing with a New Diagnosis

A health crisis is one of the most challenging struggles we will face in our life. We will all face challenges. Sometimes, we can control what happens and sometimes we can’t. In both cases, it is how you approach that challenge that determines how you deal with it. In this article, we will see how your self-image plays a significant role in how you deal with challenges. For instance, when you first hear the doctor say that you have a particular illness; that is a significant challenge that you have to become actively involved with. We, too often, look outside for the solution to our challenges.

Especially when you deal with a health crisis, you have to look within and tap what I call the Wisdom of your Body. The Wisdom of the Body is the home of your inner resources. It exists in the silence beyond your thoughts and choreographs every action your body performs.

The “self-image” is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior.

Maxwell Maltz, author Psycho-Cybernetics

Every time we think, it is as though we just spoke, but on a very subtle level. It is as though thinking is like talking to your self-image and your response to those thoughts comes from who you are talking to.  A Positive Self-image naturally gives you positive responses that come from the Wisdom of the Body. If you have a Negative Self-image, you will tend to get limited, even negative responses. If you changed your self-image, you will get different responses. It is your responsibility to identify with a self-image that serves you.

Let me give you a definition of Positive Self and Negative Self. A Positive Self-image is the easiest way to connect to the Wisdom of the Body. It is the part of you that exists in the moment and can meet your challenges with powerful inner resources. This is the conscious way for you to deal with a new diagnosis. It is a way that you connect to inner resources that will be helpful to empower you to be a significant partner with your doctor.

A Negative Self-image is the self-image that comes from your past conditioning and only represents the conditioned part of you. It is the part of you that created habits and responds in the moment with those habits, whether appropriate or not. When facing a new diagnosis, this is the part of you that panics and does not accept powerful inner resources.

When a person is ill, it is very often not the illness that determines the outcome, as much as the attitude of the patient. Norman Cousins, author and philosopher, said that 50% of healing is the doctor’s responsibility and 50% is the patient’s. But, the medical community too often treats patients as victims without encouraging them to play an active role in their own healing.

Being a victim has been the way most of us think.  But, when you are forced to deal with a challenge you cannot control, like an illness, changing your habitual perspective is essential. When we identify with our habits, they are difficult to change. Simply by changing your self-image, you get a new perspective and change becomes possible.

By consciously conditioning a new self-image, the part of you that interprets thoughts and perception, you see the world differently. Now, this new self-image is not pure fantasy; it can be made from your past experiences, so that you can identify with it. Even though the self-image you want to change was strongly conditioned and may resist change, you can create new habits that make it feel like a special part of you. When that special part of you deals with your problem, you respond more consciously with a stronger quality of life.

Aristotle said it simply over 2,300 years ago: “We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

We change our self-image frequently. For instance, as a young adult you may have had a serious illness, but were not encouraged to take an active role in healing. This created negative memories and habits that you have to grow out of to deal with your new diagnosis. As soon as you received the present diagnosis, past memories of poor performance bubbled up and created a doubting self-image. It is possible to consciously change that to a self-image that really serves you.

You must want to change before any real change can happen. If you approach struggle with the attitude that old habits cannot be changed, it will be very hard to make needed changes.

On the subconscious level, where self-images were created, you have the power to create an independent self-image. This is where you do not solely rely on external help. Looking at the brighter side of struggle means using it for growth. Participation begins at the level of our intentions. You have to intend to conquer your struggle before you become fully active.

The way people relate to you teaches you how you view yourself. Your self-image becomes a filter for everything you encounter in life. If people relate to you in terms more negative than positive, then you will likely have a Negative Self-image.

A Positive Self-image, on the other hand, can do wonders. The Positive Self-image helps you to connect to the Wisdom of the Body. Your Positive Self is the part of you that exists in your thinking mind that can directly communicate to this inner wisdom.

Your self-image can go from positive to negative several times a day. Accepting your Positive Self-image allows you to think more creatively, express your heart more truly, breathe differently and watch your inner wisdom as it performs its magic in healing.

Now, think of the challenge of your new diagnosis. Which part of you would be able to meet that challenge? Learn the Positive Self technique and develop it into a habit. Access it from your subconscious level with conscious triggers and prepare to meet your challenge at your full potential . Integrate your Positive Self into your daily life. Be open to accept the best parts of  you.

© 2015 Marc Lerner

Balancing Thoughts and Feelings

This article deals with something so subtle that we seldom know it exists. That is where you place your focus during the day. Is it on your thoughts? Is it on your feelings? Or, is it on the combination? The combination is definitely used by a majority of people. This article will help you create an equal balance.

The easiest way to study this is to step back and objectively view it. To help you do that, we will create nicknames for each kind of focus. The reason we give nicknames to these characters is that it brings you closer to the characters, while the nickname represents how you feel about thought or feelings.

1 Give a nickname to the part of you that focuses on thinking _______________ (for instance, if a person was cheated and hurt by a business transaction, that nickname could be ‘anger.’) This part of you I consider being the “Doer,” for it identifies with thoughts and actions. It controls feelings with logic. Because the reaction of anger is so dominant, the subtle feelings that can help the person can be overlooked.   A rational thinker often sees their thoughts as reality. Attachments happen when you identify with that thought and can’t let go of it.

The Doer files everything in the folders in their mind. If there isn’t a folder it fits in, they can’t process it or they ignore it. The Doer feels a disequilibrium until the new folder is created because it is difficult for the Doer to change their programming and grow. Very few people use this focus exclusively.

2 Give a nickname to the part of you that focuses on feelings ___________________ (for instance, for a person who is just going through an unhappy divorce, the nickname could be ‘hurt.’) This part of you is the ‘Receiver’ and is more intuitive than logical, more spontaneous than controlled. This part of you is free from emotional control by the thinking mind. The feeling part of you is more creative than logical, more “Receiver” than “Doer” and is open to grow and change.

We all have both qualities within us, but one quality may be more dominant than the other. What do you identify with the most? What represents you…I think or I feel? There are no right answers; this is to define where you place your attention the most.

On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is low & 10 is high:

Rate how much your focus is on thinking _________

Rate how much your focus is on feelings and intuition _________

After you see your ratings, the goal would be to create a balance between feelings and thinking. This does not have to be 50-50. It just can’t be that your dominant focus ignores the other. This could be the way you create that balance:

Pick an area of your life that bothers you the most. Using our rating scale from 1 to 10, rate how much of your focus in this area is on thoughts and how much is on feelings. Use the nicknames you created.

Let your 2 characters talk to each other.

Let your feeling character tell your thought character why feelings are important

Let your thought character tell your feeling character why thoughts are important


Let your feeling character tell your thought character why thoughts are important

Let your thought character tell your feeling character why feelings are important

The closer these character get to each other, a balance naturally occurs.