How Accepting Death Empowers You in the Moment

We all carry a lot of unfinished business along with us all the time. The more we accept death, the more in the moment we are.  Accepting death is possible, for it makes us reject the parts of us not living in the moment. That is a spiritual gift. If you looked at your life imagining you are going to die soon, unimportant things would fall from your character. Just do the following things and allow your imagination to be real to you.

  • Sit and become deeply relaxed. The deeper you go, death is more than an idea to you.
  • Imagine a realistic situation that brings you closer to death.
  • Identify people, work situations and philosophical questions that are incomplete within you.
  • Realize that a conscious approach to death completes your unfinished business, so death is simply the next step for you in life. Make your breath flow easily and smoothly. Your mind becomes empty the closer you get to death.
  • Here is a technique that teaches you The Easy Breath; Take 3 deep breaths and stop breathing after the third one. If you are relaxed, the Wisdom of your Body breathes you. Notice how easy that breath flows through you; that is The Easy Breath.
  • Now imagine the unfinished business you have and ask yourself “Do I want to hold onto this as my last possession?”
  • Go deep again and breathe the Easy Breath. Let this experience sink deep into you.

When you return to your normal state of mind, be grateful for the experience you just had. Capture this experience in a trigger (a word or a phrase). Say that trigger whenever you deal with that unfinished business. This doesn’t complete your unfinished business; it just puts you in the best state of mind to work on it.

For instance if you owe money; you still owe it, but working on completing this unfinished business from a conscious state of mind makes it much easier to deal with. The same is true for unfinished business with another person. In other words, you still have to work on it, but from a conscious state of mind.

There is no reason you have to carry your unfinished business around with you as a weight around your neck. Complete it while being more conscious. There is no magic in life; get to the point where you face death consciously and watch the unimportant burdens fall away. Facing death consciously can be a new beginning for you. Just trust your deepest wisdom to change you and don’t resist. You will be more conscious in the moment.

 

© 2015 Marc Lerner


Go to Amazon/Kindle.com to find all of Marc Lerner’s books: The End, A Creative Way to Approach Death, A Poetic View of Hospice, A Healthy Way to be Sick, The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life. Go to marclerner.com to read Marc’s blog and articles.

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I Have Found a Healthy Way to be Sick and So Can You

I have had multiple sclerosis since 1981. I am legally blind in a wheel chair with a heart full of love living with a high quality of life. I do not feel it is my intellect that gives me quality; it is the wisdom of my body. My ego may be actively involved, but when it steps aside and allows the Wisdom of my Body to manifest, I find a healthy way to be sick.

I do not feel as though I do health, I receive it with instructions from my body. Hunger tells me how much to eat and sometimes what I am hungry for. In the past, my mind created habits that were not always harmonious with the body’s wisdom. When dealing with healing with sensitivity, old habits can be broken. Just as a person with lung cancer finds the motivation to quit smoking when they are open to inner wisdom, you can find inner wisdom to guide you in what to eat.

When I see a cancer patient smoking, I feel they think the habits in their mind are more important than life itself. When your priority is to be true to inner wisdom, it benefits your health and healing. When thinking is your priority, you are guided by old habits and those may have contributed to your health problems. I am humbled when I respect my inner wisdom and when humbled I am more receptive to the Wisdom of my Body.

The significant people in my life play an important role also. Being loved and loving strengthens the will to live and activates the Wisdom of my Body.  When I was facing a health struggle and being close to death, I felt my connection to my wife strengthen my will to live. Obviously, I did not heal from my MS, but I was more open to the Wisdom of my Body. I was in Hospice for three months, but it took that long to change my priorities.

Two of my books are relevant to this blog; A Healthy Way to be Sick and A Poetic View of Hospice. You will find them at Amazon/Kindle.

For any of my books, a Power summary is available here.

Hospital Navigation as an Active Patient

The hospital is a place where a lot of frustration and anxiety meet professional care. It is a place where an incredible amount of information is passed. I want to focus on the patient’s role in dealing with the hospital situation. I suggest that the patient strive to be in a super-conscious state of mind. It is difficult for a patient to agree or disagree with a diagnosis, but the patient can be extremely alert when a doctor says what they are going to do.

One time, I was in a pre-surgery room getting prepped for trigeminal nerve (brain) surgery. I was in intense pain. The doctor was reviewing the surgical procedures before I was anesthetized. When he said the surgery would be on the nerve leading to the right side of my jaw, I immediately was alarmed. This was because the pain and nerve went to the left side of my jaw.  After the doctor checked, he said the right side was what was written on the report. He apologized and operated on the correct side. It showed how important patient participation is.

I feel the best way for a patient to deal with the complex environment of a hospital is to be totally alert. I did not have to go to medical school to know the difference between right and left.

This was a dramatic example, but this consciousness is needed on the mundane level of everything you do when you are a patient in the hospital. You should always ask what medication is being given or what procedure you are scheduled for or what meal has been delivered to you. I do not suggest that you be an antagonistic patient, but all these issues are dealt with by being more conscious.

Another conscious thing you can do is to have someone you trust be with you as your advocate. Sometimes, when I was sick in the hospital, I would go in and out of being awake and aware. At those times, it was helpful to have a second set of eyes and ears. Whether you have an advocate or not, being more conscious is not only to catch mistakes, but it is a way to make the treatments and medication more effective.

This is not something you should wait to develop while you are in the hospital. This is how you should enter the hospital, so it becomes a natural part of your life. You do not TRY to be conscious. You only TRY to do something when you feel you cannot do it.  Illness is a great motivator. It can force you to become more conscious, so you do everything you can to deal with it. This is one of the benefits of being sick.

In my book “A Healthy Way to Be Sick,” you will develop the life skills that make you a conscious patient. Illness can be a spiritual experience when you are conscious. Being in that state of mind helps the healing process. The conscious perspective is essential in healing. You can develop the conscious perspective in my book “The Positive Self, Change your Self Image and Change Your Life”. My books are available on Amazon/Kindle

My View of Becoming More Conscious

The main issues of today are dealt with by focusing on what people believe. For instance, some people believe that the police shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO, was justified by the police. And others believe it was not.  Another issue is going to war in the Middle East against ISIS. Some people feel it is not our business and we should not be involved; others feel that they are a threat against America and we are justified to be active against them. A third issue is what the Republicans feel and what the Democrats feel.

 

I feel that the main problem is not in the right and wrong in what you believe in.  The main issue is the consciousness it is perceived with. When you focus on thinking, which is very important, you deal with things with a certain consciousness. When you focus beyond thinking, you can go back and deal with the issues from a higher consciousness. Most people constantly focus on thinking and they navigate through life on what they believe.

 

In Latin, the word ‘believe’ comes from the word ‘to allow.’ When you allow what you believe, you do not always have the consciousness that goes beyond your personal perspective. For instance, if you grew up in a Republican household, your beliefs would be influenced by that. If you had a selfless perspective, you would be able to see more than your past conditioning and see issues from a broader perspective.

I think the main problem in our society today is the consciousness we live our life in. We train our children to focus on thinking to be evaluated in a positive way. During those formative years, if we even presented the idea of focusing beyond thinking, they would naturally be open to that possibility. When this idea is presented to most people, they relate to it in a religious way. It takes faith to go beyond the security of thinking. For those who focus on thinking, they hide behind their belief system. The way they get to God is by focusing on the “right” way of thinking.

 

In almost every spiritual path, silence is honored as a way to connect with God. Silence is definitely beyond thinking, for your thoughts can disturb real silence. I feel the way to connect to God is not through a belief system, but the ability to surrender in silence.  In silence “you” do not exist. There is no duality and a conscious approach to issues is a natural response. It is hard for people to go beyond the idea “I am,” for they focus on thinking and identify with it. “I am a Republican.” “I am a Democrat.” “I believe in God.” “I do not believe in God.” In a high state of consciousness, “I am” is all that you need.

 

We do not enter this discussion because we do not want to influence people’s belief systems. If we dealt with this issue focused on consciousness, we would become more conscious in dealing with what we believe. For instance, religion is not taught in school, because each family has different belief systems. There is a law that separates church and state, but that does not really affect people becoming more conscious.

 

Every belief system would benefit when people were more conscious. For instance, there are many wars based on different belief systems. I feel that is unconscious. A conscious man can accept another’s belief system without being threatened. The reason this has not been understood in the past is that we live in the consciousness that is limited by the way we think. Most people have experienced this beyond-thought consciousness when they fall in love or face a challenge that really threatens them.

 

This beyond-thought consciousness is common in sports, for when people enter ‘the zone,’ they are beyond thought and perform excellently. I believe there could be ‘a zone’ in everything we do, but that requires people to go beyond the thoughts they identify with. It might seem impossible for different belief systems to live peacefully, but if we enter the zone and become conscious of more than our thoughts, our life would happen excellently.

 

The work I do in dealing with health issues involves people tapping the Wisdom of their Body. This I feel is ‘the zone’ of healing. I have had a disease for the last 33 years. Though I have not healed myself, I feel ‘the zone’ of dealing with my disease happens when I focus on consciousness, instead of the way I think. If I only focused on thoughts, it would be hard to make my life seem positive. If I surrender in consciousness, I can deal with what is happening to me in a loving, peaceful state.

 

If you look at the books I have written, available on Amazon/Kindle.com, you would learn the life skills that would help you be in consciousness, instead of the worries of your challenge. My 4 books; A Healthy Way to be Sick; The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life; The End: A Creative Approach to Death; A :Poetic View of Hospice.

Marc’s websites: http://lifeskillsinc.com and  http://www.MarcLerner.com

Marc’s blog: marclerner.com

 

© 2015 Marc Lerner

A Poetic View of Hospice

poetic hospice

In March, 2014, I had my 33rd anniversary of my diagnosis of multiple sclerosis (MS). In my 33rd year, after dealing with partial blindness, brain surgery, coping with a wheelchair and excruciating pain, I entered Hospice. My entry was not because I was expected to die soon; it was just that I was on a downhill progression with my illness and I needed to manage my pain.
It was a shock to me to be put into Hospice and I knew I had to deal with it myself. My wife, Amy, and my mom were incredible supports, but they were not always available. I used poetry as a way of coping. When issues came up, writing poetry allowed me to view that same situation from a poetic perspective.
In 2013, I wrote The End: A Creative Approach to Death. I felt creativity was important, because it allowed me to use my whole brain, instead of just linear thinking. I would encourage everybody to approach any major struggle using their whole brain, especially at the end of their life. It does not really matter what your creativity is, but it has to be an expression that goes beyond worry, fear or negativity.
I am not a professional poet, but I wrote these poems to help me process the dramatic journey I was on. This is the way I coped with a situation that even the experts do not have a cure for. The spiritual perspective for me was the deepest way to capture my situation not as a victim, but making the best out of a devastating situation. For those who related to my poetry, it triggered beautiful communications.

Everyone has the opportunity to utilize their right brain, if they express their heart to those they love. Only utilizing the left brain is a way to trigger frustration and a disconnect with those you love or those who love you. It is not time to focus on intellectually figuring out your situation; that needed to have been done before your final days. Completing unfinished business in your relationships is the best thing you can leave those who love you.
The following poems are an expression of the 3 months of my time in Hospice; July, 2014 to October, 2014. I am now in palliative care. My decline is not as dramatic and pain is relatively under control.