Attitudes come from the decisions you made in the past. If those decisions were made from your Negative Self, the attitude would have the characteristics of your Negative Self and would be limited to your past conditioning. Attitudes made from your Positive Self will be free and will have the characteristics of your Positive Self. Most people do not think this is an important thing to do, but the art of controlling your attitudes can influence the quality of your life.
Here is an example of controlling attitudes. Imagine a woman in an abusive relationship, where her husband cheated on her. After years of abuse and depression, her Negative-Self made the decision that men can’t be trusted. After their divorce, this created an attitude that was subtly alive in her. After a while, she met a person she was attracted to and their relationship became serious. She grew closer to him and really loved him. But mingled in that love was the attitude based on the decision she made in her previous relationship. She grew to trust him, but the hidden attitude would emerge without her being conscious of it.
To create a strong relationship, she needed to identify the decision she made from her Negative Self and change it to a decision made by her Positive-Self. She still can be hurt and mistrusting, but it had to come from her Positive Self. That would make her decision strong, without self-doubt and she could complete that part of her life without carrying unfinished business with her.
The decisions you make when connected to your Positive Self character are very different than the decisions made while you are connected to your Negative Self. By simply directing your thoughts to the Positive Self, your awareness gives life to your wisdom and you can make decisions that create a positive attitude.
Attitudes that were created long ago-for instance the decisions made in an unhappy marriage-can affect the attitude you have toward your next marital partner. If you create a habit of thinking to your Positive Self, you can remember events in the unhappy marriage, but see them through the eyes of your Positive Self. Make decisions now connected to your inner wisdom.
Changing Your Attitude Technique
Fill out the following form to better understand your attitudes.
- Think of an attitude you would like to change and describe it here.
- What are the circumstances where you experience that attitude?
- Describe how your Negative Self views that circumstance.
- What decision did your Negative Self make?
Describe the situation from your Positive Self’s perspective.
- What decision would your Positive Self make?
- Look at the different attitudes a simple decision makes. Simply say your “I am statement and see how the attitude of your Positive Self feels.
Attitudes are triggered either by thoughts or feelings. When an attitude does not serve you, or makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to change it. The ability to control your attitudes is a skill we all need to develop.