How to Approach Health Struggles

I was once talking to a person who was dealing with lupus. I asked her how she was doing. She immediately went down a list of the things that she was dealing with. I could tell that with certain symptoms she was dealing with, her voice showed her concern. I mentioned to her that I thought more important than the symptom, was how she approached it. We both were dealing with chronic illnesses. I knew that, in my situation, I didn’t have complete control over the symptoms, but I did have control over the state of mind I approached them with.

I believe our struggles become more difficult to deal with when we approach them with an anxious mind. When we are more conscious, our emotions like fear and self-doubt are not the major focus. To me, being conscious elevates me above the situation, so I can tap inner resources without thinking. When I just surrender to my thinking mind, I might be logical about what I am doing. What follows that logic is my emotional reaction, but when I go beyond thinking, my mind is calm. The way I deal with something that is terribly wrong with me comes from a place that is free from an emotional reaction like panic. To me, there is a higher level of interacting with struggles that is beyond thoughts or emotions.

I took karate for a long time and I loved sparring in tournaments.  An important lesson I learned was in a fight. Even if you got hurt, an emotional reaction would limit your ability to fight. The best fighting came from a calm mind and a relaxed body. I take that lesson into dealing with my chronic illness. The way I deal with negative events is to come from a calm mind. Of course, it took years of training to develop this calmness, but I feel it is never too late to start striving for that state of mind. You may think it takes a lot of discipline to be that way, but the simple truth is that all you have to do is just control your focus and control your breathing.

Even though this control is desperately needed when dealing with a struggle like poor health, it is impossible when your thinking mind is more important than breathing. To communicate this practically, I would encourage you to meditate, to attain that calm state of mind. To understand my way of thinking, read my earlier blogs or clicks on the articles link.


Creating a Conscious Self-Image

Who we are seems to be the most important issue in our life. Our personality is how the world knows us. It was created from the habits we learned beginning as a very young child. We developed those habits by the way people related to us, especially the significant people in our family. Also, the habits formed by the way we related to the external   world helped teach us who we are. The personality is like the clothes we wear; it covers us so we are accepted

Our self-image is how we relate to ourselves. This also was primarily developed by habits from our personality, but it is our self- image that is connected to the Wisdom of the Body. A conscious self-image was from conscious habits, where you were in the moment with a positive perspective. A conditioned self-image came from your conditioned habits and is not connected to inner wisdom. A conditioned self-image is not bad, but it is a negative self-image because of its limitations in connecting to the moment. A conditioned or negative self-image makes your awareness stop at your habits. The conscious or positive self-image allows awareness to go beyond conditioning and connect to the Wisdom of the Body.

As an adult, we have a choice with what image we relate to: the one conditioned by our environment or a self-image consciously created connected to the Wisdom of the Body. When a person faces a challenge they were not taught to deal with, they will ideally create a conscious self-image. This is especially true when dealing with a chronic illness. The Wisdom of the Body has powerful inner resources to enable you to become an active partner with the doctor and not become a victim. This is also true in having a loving relationship, having a job that challenges you and having a quality life, regardless of what you do or own.

Most people are so identified with their conditioned self-image, they don’t put energy into developing a new self-image. This can happen in many ways, but you need to be open to submit yourself to a change. A positive self-image can be developed in a loving relationship, a rewarding job or with many types of recognition in any part of a successful life. Success isn’t limited to being wealthy, for many people who are wealthy do not live a quality life as a whole person.

It is possible to create a positive self-image when you are trapped in the world of your negative or conditioned self. If you look back in your past and identify with the most positive experience you remember, you will find a time where your body experienced the effect of a positive self-image. Unfortunately, that part of you wasn’t reinforced over time, so you didn’t create the habits needed for a positive self-image.

It is never too late to build on that experience and develop a new conscious self-image. In fact, sometimes it is essential to develop a positive one, even though your habits formed in the past may not reinforce this change. Having the new self-image to fit into your life, you need to consciously re-condition your sub-conscious mind. This can happen if you consciously connect to the new self-image before you go to sleep and upon awakening. This is when the doors to the sub-conscious are open and strong habits can be developed. It takes about ten days to develop a strong habit, so you have to do this conditioning in the morning and at night. To do this, recall the memory of that positive experience and feel it.

In my book, The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life, I lead you through a technique that connects you directly to your positive self. There are many ways I show you to develop a strong habit. One way is to create a journal, where your negative self expresses itself to your positive self. This develops a habit of thoughts directed to your positive self and an openness to receive with your positive self. I show you techniques to switch quickly between your negative and positive self. I go more in depth on how to program your sub-conscious and how to connect to your positive self by just a word or a phrase. This book goes into depth with techniques using your positive self to develop qualities like confidence and the ability to complete unfinished business.

Here are the benefits of a conscious/positive self-image: In relationships, when the positive self of one person relates to the positive self of another person, there is a strong commitment. In a romantic relationship, the expression of the heart becomes very easy and the commitment becomes stronger. At work, you do your job more efficiently, more creatively and with a better attitude. In a spiritual sense, you have an easier time transcending to a depth beyond unfinished business and with a heartfelt approach connecting to God, or whatever you believe in. Basically, your conscious/positive self creates a high quality of life.

What is the Benefit of Commitment in a Health Crisis?

When the essence of your life, which is consciousness, connects to something like another person or your work, a commitment is formed. A superficial level of commitment happens when your consciousness connects to the thoughts of something and you are just left committed to your own mind. The most common example of a deeper commitment is when your consciousness connects to another’s heart and you are conscious of more than your own mind.

In this article, we will explore how commitment is used in healing. We are too often committed to our mind, as though we were locked in a prison cell and cannot get out. That can be interpreted as dedication, but real commitment has to involve more than your thinking mind. When you are truly dedicated, your entire being is involved and not just the thoughts or illusions in your mind.

Now, most people do not consider thoughts illusions, but think of a piece of your favorite pie. Then try to eat it. The thoughts of the pie are symbolic; they only represent the pie and actually do not exist. Think of anything and your thoughts are symbolic, even thoughts of family, country and God. Realizing thoughts are symbolic allows you to commit with more than your thinking mind.

When people are in a health crisis, they often find a deeper commitment, especially when their life is threatened. This is a practical example of the need to have commitments that go beyond the thoughts in your mind. Of course, if you are committed to healing an illness, it is natural to find out more about it. To actually heal, you need to have more than thinking to be involved. You need what I call the Wisdom of the Body.

Healing, or even consciously coping with an illness, requires life skills which are more than ideas. If ideas were all that were required to heal, doctors would never get sick. Healing requires the Wisdom of the Body. That is where we all have powerful inner resources that we were born with and did not learn in school. Being committed to heal demands that you become conscious and activate this beyond-thought inner reality.

When we get medications and treatments for an illness, the Wisdom of the Body is what responds the best. If you totally identify with your ego and thinking, medical treatments may be limited by your ability to respond on that level. All of our conditioned limitations are rooted in our thoughts and habits, but if you develop a commitment to the Wisdom of your Body, you will respond the best.

We may not have thought this way before, but the fact is most of us already connect to that deeper inner wisdom. Here are three important actions we can all develop that enhance this commitment:

  • The expression of the heart and the ability to love and be loved. This includes the ability to love yourself.
  • A focus on your breath that can take you beyond thinking and connect you to the Wisdom of your Body. You can consciously develop habits of breathing into the silence beyond thinking and consciously activate inner wisdom.
  • Spiritual aspirations have the ability to take you beyond the limitations of your thinking mind. If you believe in God or not, these aspirations have the ability to connect you to the Wisdom of your Body.

There may be many more things we do that take us beyond our thinking mind, like art, sports and making love. Being committed to your body’s wisdom has the ability to provide quality to your life, even if you are sick. Sometimes, the threat of illness has the ability to move consciousness beyond conditioned habits and give you a new perspective to live from. Of course, these qualities may not be the final cure for an illness, but these qualities help a patient utilize their powerful inner resources to be an active partner with doctors in the healing process.

In my book, A Healthy Way to be Sick, your commitment to life and the Wisdom of your Body allows your mind to be free from stress and anxiety. In my book, The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life, you develop a commitment to a self-image connected to inner resources. In my book, A Poetic View of Hospice, I share what I did, as I faced difficult ties with a deeper commitment that went beyond my thinking mind. Any challenge you face with a deeper commitment ensures that you will have a quality life.

7 Responsibilities in the Art of Healing a Chronic Illness or Disability

Each of you have been given something that has evolved over millions of years; the Wisdom of your Body. When you develop a connection to this powerful inner resource, you play an active role in healing. When you ignore this resource; you tend to be a victim waiting for help.

When internal and external resources work together as partners; the best healing potential is realized. When you hide behind your thoughts and past conditioning, your medications will still work but your body will not respond with the eagerness to heal.

When you ask almost any sick person if they want to get better, their answer would be yes. If you looked deep inside of many patients; their body does not say the same thing. It says, ‘I am apathetic.’ Follow these seven requirements of healing and you will see if your sub-conscious mind really wants to heal.

  • You have to be responsible for your inner environment. Everything your mind creates exists because you want it to be there.
  • You have to be responsible for what part of you responds to your challenge. You have a positive side that responds harmoniously with the Wisdom of your Body and a negative side that responds harmoniously with your past conditioning. It is your choice which part of you responds to your health challenge.
  • You are responsible for the degree you trust this inner wisdom. Too often, we trust our past conditioning, which does not respond as well as that positive part of us. It is your choice.
  • You are responsible for your focus. Your focus triggers your body, which sends messages to your brain, so healing happens.
  • We are responsible for the attachments that block our awareness from performing its healing abilities. When you focus on your attachments, you are giving life to your old habits, instead of the part of you that needs to heal.
  • You are responsible for expressing your heart. Just as water cleans the inside of a pipe as it flows through, love flowing through you cleans the inside of you. Loving has a powerful effect on your will to live. The more you love…the stronger is your will to live.
  • Maybe the most important responsibility is in how you breathe. Your breath carries your awareness throughout your body. A shallow breath limits your healing process.

You can study each of these points and read expert analysis about them or you can just surrender to the Wisdom of your body and these automatically happen. It is just your mind that limits you.

Learning How to Let Go of Your Life

This title might sound suicidal, but this is not my intention. When you look at your life as the consciousness that keeps you alive and allows you to be more active, letting go of your life is freeing your consciousness. You are freeing it from your thoughts and conditioning. This allows you to be conscious of powerful inner resources and develop a deep spiritual connection. This goes against the way most people live their life.

We have been conditioned to be very conscious of the way we think. Our conditioning is so strong that our consciousness is trapped in our thinking mind. Basically, this is another way of defining attachments. When your consciousness is connected to a thought, you are unable to connect to your deeper inner wisdom. On almost every spiritual path, you are encouraged to let go of your attachments, which allows consciousness to enter a spiritual realm.

I want to propose to you that this can naturally happen in every breath. When we learn how to breathe beyond our thinking mind, our in-breath is a way of letting go of the thoughts that define our life. This in-breath can create a habit that frees us from our thinking mind every time we breathe. Then, on our out-breath, our consciousness returns to our thinking mind with a clear perspective.

To the ego that naturally fears death and is what we identify with, this traps us in our thinking mind. For most people, their thinking mind serves them and makes them more efficient in this world. But, when a person aspires to an important goal, that beyond-thought reality is the home of powerful inner resources that they need. For instance, if you struggle with a health crisis, breathing into this depth is how you can become an active participant as a partner with your doctor. Not only do you activate your healing powers, you remove anxious thinking that limits your ability to heal.

If you want to express love to someone who is important to you, the ability to breathe beyond thoughts allows your heart’s expression to be pure. We limit our love by the way we think and were conditioned. If you had the power to transport consciousness to the silence beyond your thoughts, your love would be free from any limitations. Of course, this happens by a habit which can happen to most people naturally. But, for those whose love is limited by their thoughts and conditioning, they may need to put conscious effort into making this happen.

Another aspect of our life that this breath can serve is our work. When we hold onto our thoughts, we block creativity and our openness to new ideas. Creativity is an important part of work and can subconsciously be limited by the habits we create. Developing the habit of conscious breathing, where we let go of our thinking mind, has the ability to makes us more conscious on our job.

Focusing on breathing may sound insignificant, but it can add quality to every aspect of your life if done consciously.  I suggest that you take time and develop the habit of letting go of your thoughts. This can happen by practicing breathing into silence every night before you go to sleep and every morning when you wake up. This will allow you an instant escape from anxious thinking and, possibly, develop this habit in every breath.

In a health crisis, you need to learn how to let go, so that powerful inner resources can assist you. In my book, A Healthy Way to be Sick, you learn to apply this in a health crisis. In my book, The End: A Creative Approach to Death, you apply this same perspective to your final days, as you approach death.

© 2015 Marc Lerner

Is it Easier to Change the Cause of Your Stress or Your Interpretation?

When you face a challenge you cannot control (like a chronic illness, losing your job or the decision of another person), you can always control the way you interpret your perception of what happens.  Victims are people who accept what happens as the only reality they deal with. The empowered person realizes what happens is something they have to deal with; how they interpret what happens determines the quality of their life, their response and how their response is received by others.

Imagine the power you have in the simple act of how you interpret your reality. The person with an externally directed focus only looks outside for the solutions to his problems. The person with an internally focused awareness tends to look within for the solutions of his problems. Both inner and outer focuses have qualities for solutions, but with a conscious breath, the inner and outer harmoniously work together. We need experts’ advice in the area they specialize and we need our inner resources to consciously respond to their advice.

Think of our in-breath as the way we take in input and connect to inner wisdom. Then, in a split second, our body processes that input, which activates our powerful inner resources to respond.   It is not a matter of choice; our mind and body are previously programmed to respond in a specific way.  

Here is our biggest question: Can the conscious and subconscious mind and body be reconditioned? The answer is complex with many variables, but the main point is, if you really want it to. Most people do not even consider that question unless their life or what they value is threatened. People with chronic illness, facing the threat of death desperately strive to change, but some are successful and some are not.

The way we interpret our situation plays a significant part in how we deal with our struggles; that is the easiest thing to change. You can change a negative interpretation simply by changing the habit of what part of you interprets it. You can consciously condition habits that are connected you to your inner wisdom instead of the you that was locked into negative past conditioning. That does not change the problems you face; it just changes how you perceive and interpret your situation. Of course, you could be a victim to your past conditioning and simply respond as usual…but why?

By consciously conditioning a new self-image, the part of you that interprets thoughts and perception…you see the world differently. Now this new self-image is not purely fantasy; it can be made from your past so that you can identify with it.  Even though the self-image you want to change was strongly conditioned and may resist change, you can create new habits that make it feel like a special part of you. When that special part of you deals with your problem, you respond more consciously with a stronger quality of life.

If this can be done with a significant life skill like your self-image, why can’t it be done with skills like self-trust, confidence and how we utilize our inner resources? We do not have to rely on how we have been conditioned; we have the power to recondition our mind. Victims feel their past conditioning is their reality. Empowered people are free to recondition their mind. If this is an easy thing to do, you have no excuse not to do it.

You can develop a positive self-image in my book, The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life. Then, you can learn how to apply it to your health in A Healthy Way to be Sick. Find them on Amazon/


© 2015 Marc Lerner

Trusting Your RealSelf

When we think of trust, we think of people, places and things. That kind of trust, even though you experience it within, is directed outside of you. When we face a health challenge, we need to learn how to trust ourselves. When we trust ourselves, we are open to receive powerful inner resources. When we do not trust ourselves, we can be resistant to inner resources, because they do not fit into our self-concept. We trust what is important to us. In my work, I teach people how to take the importance out of their thoughts and return importance to life and their deepest wisdom.


The “Zero Point” is the name I have given to the state of consciousness where we are free to “preside over” our bodies and create conscious programs in harmony with the wisdom of the body. It is where we do not trust our thoughts as much as we trust inner wisdom. Understanding the Zero Point is the key to understanding trust.  Too often, we are programmed during difficult situations, creating disharmony in our lives. Arriving at the Zero Point, we are free from habitual programs and can make corrections, programming harmony with our deeper wisdom. At the Zero Point, we are free from damaging thoughts and real change is possible.  When we are free from tension-producing thoughts, we can enter a deep relaxation that is always there, but otherwise covered by thinking.  Entering this depth not only feels incredibly positive and peaceful, it is the home of our inner resources.


One of my own recurrent problems in social situations has been the fatigue brought on by MS. The fatigue I have struggled with is an exhaustion that has nothing to do with lack of sleep. During the times I experience this difficulty, the only comfort I find is at the Zero Point, where my thoughts do not touch me.  My fatigue is often hard for those around me to understand, because it seems as though I am not interested in the social event or the people I am with. Probably the worst part about it is the thoughts I have about the circumstances. Again, I have been forced to find a shelter in Silence, which is free from thoughts and comforting. In Silence, I benefit greatly from not tuning into my negative thoughts. At those times, being is not a luxury, it is a necessity.


Many of the veterans that I worked with also suffered greatly from their thoughts. The Zero Point is easier to find in an extreme external situation, such as wartime, but this shelter is also needed in “peace.” A veteran who understood the Zero Point told me, “In combat, you can’t think about yourself, or else fear sets in and paralyzes you. In combat there is no past or future, just the moment.” Our perception of time exists as we know it when we replace the experience of the Zero Point with the ideas of self. In the intensity of war, close to the Zero Point, the only time is the moment.


The Zero Point has nothing to do with the world around us or our perceptions or conceptions about it. Our perceptions and conceptions are part of the illusions created by the brain.  When many of the vets came home, their memories of war were stored in their whole brain.  These memories stopped the veterans from re-entering the Zero Point because they avoided the traumas they buried there.  The Zero Point is not a “mind-made” reality; it is the purest consciousness connected to life. But the fact is, it takes consciousness to realize experience and to listen to our thoughts and memories.  The Zero Point, then, is the pure consciousness beyond both thoughts and experience.


From the Zero Point, we can understand how to “be.” When I became legally blind, the outside world was blurry. I put less importance into my visual perceptions. My awareness was freed from my thoughts, and I became more and more aware of the way I was thinking.


Imagine the human brain as a movie projector. The light of the projector is consciousness.  The film is our conditioning, so when light flows through the film, it projects the movie on the world we live in. Going beyond thinking is like taking film out of the projector, so that it is much easier to work on our thinking processes. Unfortunately, we act as the movie director and it is hard to let go of the film we identify with.

The Zero Point is a shelter from “bad movies,” for in that state of consciousness, no thought is more important than life. If thoughts bother us, we can arrive at the Zero Point and be totally free from the bothering thoughts.  If we find ourselves in a threatening situation, connecting to being may be the only door out of that situation. The ongoing trauma experienced by many Vietnam veterans has only one exit–they have to re-own the Zero Point and live in a reality beyond memories and thoughts.  In a way, this dilemma of the veteran is a gift, because it  forced him to become super-conscious, a state of mind he knows  very well. It is thoughts which trigger suffering and he is forced to find the Zero Point, a natural shelter.


One veteran who was having a wonderful experience of the Zero Point gave this example to some others:   “Say we were sitting somewhere in Vietnam and I said something that really pissed you off. Maybe I said something about your mother and you went into a rage. If at that time we started to get overrun (by the enemy), at the first shot you would still go to the Zero Point, just like that, instantly.”   In response to this, I said: “No thoughts would get you there, just your passion for life would connect you. But now, in ‘peaceful’ circumstances, you think you have to rely on thought to get you there. This doesn’t work very well.”


Instead of using the vehicle of thinking to “work” our way to the Zero Point, we can create habits that work without thinking, but take us instantly there. While talking about the Zero Point with a group of veterans, one veteran was focused on what he had to “do” to get to the Zero Point.  I told him that counting numbers was like “doing something,” but how do we count to zero?  We are already there, but the most difficult thing is accepting that fact. If we have to “do something” to get there, we lose the focus of the moment.


A seminar participant at “Step-Up on Second”, a day center for the mentally ill homeless, once said this when talking about finding himself: “You have to go through death to get to where you really want to go.”  Death is a reality where we can’t “do” anything.  To the ego, it is inconceivable, but at the Zero Point, it is possible.   Since our thoughts and conditioning have created the ego we think we are, going beyond those thoughts is like going through a “death.” We don’t want a laborious journey every time we want to connect.


You might think that trust only relates to the groups mentioned above, but we need to learn that trust in our daily lives. For instance, in the tender moments of intimacy, we do not want to think about “getting to” the Zero Point. Creating conscious habits allows us to connect without thinking about it.


The books of mine that support this article are A Healthy Way to be Sick and The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life  (Amazon/Kindle). These books will teach you all of the life skills needed to become conscious in the moment. Even if you are not sick at this moment, the lessons are extremely valuable. Learn them while you are healthy, so they will be there when and if you got sick.


Once we understand how the brain works, we can use it to manifest wisdom. We travel through life in three main states of consciousness. The first stage I call “Innocent.” As young children, we do not know right from wrong–we are innocent. Older, we learn to distinguish between right and wrong and we develop the second stage, which I call the “Doer.”


The “Doer” performs actions controlled by the conscious mind, doing right and avoiding wrong and the punishment wrong actions bring. The “Doer” is focused on thoughts within the mind. This is a natural and very important learning stage, but many of us get stuck in this stage and do not go on to the next.


I call the final stage the “Receiver.”  In this stage, we receive from our own wisdom and accept its lessons with real openness. Many who are aware of the difference between these stages feel that it is almost an “either/or” situation; either one performs actions as the Doer, or he meditates and goes deep within and receives deeper experiences. But instead of either/or, both states of mind can exist simultaneously. We can perform actions and attain this depth by learning how to “be,” as we simply live our lives.


In the healing process, we need to use our whole brain. We need to do things that are right, like eating healthy foods and taking the correct medicine. We need to be receptive and listen to the Wisdom of our Body. Sometimes, a person does not learn to use their whole brain until they face a crisis, like a chronic illness.


When I began working with the combat veterans, they often thought I was “against” thinking. They told me that when they were in combat they had to think. My response to this was that thinking itself is not bad.  My own work obviously involves a lot of thinking. But thinking can take place in the Doer stage of consciousness, or we can learn to be receptive and receive thoughts from the deeper wisdom of being.


“Receptive thinking” is most likely the type of thinking that took place in a combat situation for the veterans. In those situations they were, by necessity, so connected to life that their thoughts had to come from a higher consciousness.


If we were to step back for a moment, we would see that the brain is the creator of every experience we have. Most of us  are conditioned to look first to external things for the experiences we want.  This happens automatically, but the external world can only activate the brain to create the desired experience. It is the brain itself that creates the experience. We can learn to use our brains to create experiences we want.


Once we enter the Receptive stage, we can learn a great deal from inner wisdom. The better we understand how the brain works, the easier it is to use it. Dr. Paul MacLean, a brain researcher, shows us that the brain is made of three main parts.   He calls the first part of the brain, the “Reptilian” brain. This part of the brain operates the bodily functions and is concerned with survival.


The next part of the brain is called the “Mammalian” brain. This is our emotional center. The third part of the brain, which is found in more evolved mammals, is called the “New” brain. The New brain is made up of two hemispheres. The Left hemisphere stores our thinking and speaking abilities. The Right hemisphere is the home of our creative and spatial awareness, as well as our connection to the Mammalian and Reptilian brains.


The New brain is the tool we use to adapt to society.  While these two hemispheres operate independently, they are both involved in many of the things we do.  When we speak, the Left hemisphere deals with the linear process of thinking and speaking, while the Right hemisphere can be involved with spatial awareness and creativity.  Each part of the brain is unique, but they cannot be separated into definite categories.  The fact that they work together means that analyzing the brain does not produce a “black and white” picture; rather, these two hemispheres work together.


In healing, we need to use the whole brain. The Left hemisphere is used to become a partner with your doctor. The Right hemisphere is a more receptive mind, which can creatively deal with uncomfortable situations. This part of the brain is connected to the Mammalian brain, which deals with emotions.

Many illnesses are affected by suppressing emotion. This makes the Mammalian brain ineffective and cuts down the connection to the Reptilian brain, which deals with the body’s functions. In a healthy brain, there is a natural flow between the New brain and the Reptilian brain and back again. This is where you communicate to your body and the Wisdom of the Body communicates to you.


Obviously, we do not think this way under normal conditions. When we face a challenge, like a serious illness, we have to understand this flow. It is easy to block the flow in our everyday life, simply by unconscious communications to the body and sensitivity to what the body gives back. Using the whole brain is essential in a health crisis, but it is also needed to live a quality life.

The two books I have written that will further explain this article are A Healthy Way to be Sick and The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life. (Amazon/Kindle)

The Power of Intuition in Healing

Intuition is to know without reason. This means that you do not put your consciousness into your thinking mind, so a deeper wisdom replaces the conditioned ego. From this consciousness, intuition guides us. This is connected to The Wisdom of your Body and has the power to embrace the moment and love from an ego-less perspective. This is what I call your Positive Self.

You may not be able to control your thoughts, but you can control what part of you listens and interprets. Most people have such a strong habit of focusing on their thoughts, they interpret their life simply by the way they have been conditioned to think.

We think to our self-image and, though our self-image has been developed throughout our entire life, it is possible to create a self-image that is based on the most positive parts of your life. Most people’s self-image is a blend of everything they learned and interacted with during their life.

Imagine having your thoughts interpreted solely by a self-image that was created in your most conscious moments. Just think; you could isolate specific parts of your life, when you were conscious in the moment and your heart was full of love, your interpretations would be conscious. You would be free from your past and your interpretations of the events in your life would be an expression of your deepest wisdom.

We have the ability to create a self-image like that and trigger it whenever a negative self-image appears. This is what I mean by ‘what part of you listens to your thoughts.’ You have the ability to control your self-image and interpret your life from a conscious perspective. Nobody else but you can control this.

The simple fact of controlling what part of you interprets your life is an essential key in creating a quality life and your ability to heal at your full potential. It is essential when dealing with a chronic illness or disability to have conscious interpretations. With my illness, I have balance problems. I found that simple problems, like falling down or having my body disconnected from conscious interpretations make my life complicated in negative ways.

Most people focus on their thoughts and the focus of their awareness naturally goes to the object of their thoughts. In our culture, the value of thinking is a precious gift. Inventions and technological progress solve problems, but sometimes our problem exists in how we interact with a challenge. Through past conditioning and habits, our character is defined. We are taught to believe that that is who we really are. Sometimes, though, during the most difficult times of our life, we are forced to explore the inner reality that exists beyond that conditioning.

People who live a comfortable life are not often forced to this depth. This depth, though, is available to every person and would benefit everyone’s life if they accepted this inner reality. It is from this depth that the expression of their heart is pure. It lacks the thoughts and conditioning of ego and is purely an expression of their deepest wisdom. The quality of their love would be selfless, not compromised by their ego.

In loving moments, that inner reality is there. Unfortunately, the habit of focusing on thinking blocks us from staying in that consciousness. Too often, we think that if we change our mind and think a certain way, our problems will be solved. When we venture beyond our thoughts and experience this reality, that state of mind would serve us in everything we do. We just need to learn how to get there when we need it.

I have been teaching this for over 25 years with cancer and AIDS patients and veterans with PTSD. I have found the easiest way to make this transition is to connect to your Positive Self. My book, The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life, (Amazon/Kindle) teaches how to make this transition become an active part of your life. In this book, I develop over 20 qualities, like confidence, problem-solving and changing negative emotions into positive expressions.

© 2015 Marc Lerner

How to Share with Others When You Are Chronically Ill or Disabled


When people greet you with, “Hi, how are you?” most of the time they do not expect you to answer the question. When you are dealing with a chronic illness, that question can be very annoying. A person in a health struggle has to be very aware of who they are speaking to and not share with people who cannot consciously deal with it. This may seem like a small thing, but sometimes the little changes you make in your mind can completely change your perspective.

How you share sets the tone of how you relate to your illness. If your sharing is casual, giving pat answers only, your focus on your illness becomes limited. If your sharing is panicky, expressing fear, your focus will be scattered.  The ideal focus is to allow the interest of who you are talking to, to pull your answers out. This is a natural phenomenon; when you talk to someone who is truly interested, there is a flow and sharing seems to be easier. When you talk to someone with is not truly interested or uncomfortable relating to you, your sharing is awkward and does not seem to flow. So, be conscious of who you share with because it sets the tone for how you communicate about your illness.

It is important to be conscious of what you are sharing, because it is very easy to fall into unconscious, manipulative actions. For example, when a child does not want to go to school, they will often say, “I don’t feel good.” This is something children might do to get out of going to school, but that behavior can spill into other areas of your life. For example, a chronically ill person might use their illness to get out of something they do not want to do. The alternative is just to be truthful and share without any ulterior motives.

When some people have had a chronic illness for a long time, it is not uncommon for them not to want to talk about it.  They may have explained it over and over and there may be no hope for improvement in the future.  This type of sharing can create a dangerous habit, where they use avoidance and it becomes a natural response.

Often, people will try to serve you by offering you the newest ‘magic cure.’ Even though they are well-meaning, I suggest that you be open to everything, but check everything with your doctor.  It is important to have an objective perspective, where wishful thinking does not lead you down unscientific paths.

If you share with someone in an unconscious way (for instance, complaining and self-pity), you may be setting up thought patterns that do not serve you.  The ideal state of mind for a person in a health struggle is to be conscious in the moment, connected to inner resources and accepting the responsibility that this is your body. This does not depend on who you talk to.

Go to Amazon/ to purchase A Healthy Way to be Sick, In this book, you will become an empowered patient. You will talk with the confidence that, even though you are sick, you are in control. In the book, The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life, you develop this perspective in your entire life. The intensity of a chronic illness has the ability to make you dig deep to find resources and share from an empowered perspective.

© 2015 Marc Lerner