Just Another Day in My Life

This next blog is not my usual perspective. It is personal, but I thought it would give you an idea of where I am coming from.

Wednesday, Just Another Day in My Life

It was Wednesday morning as I was waiting for my cab to come after spending a beautiful night at Amy’s. It was 9:30 in the morning and my mind was still waking up. I was sitting next to her as she ate her breakfast and I took a few bites of the blueberry cream pie we had for dessert the night before.

When the cab arrived, we kissed and I said “I will see you again tonight.” I really felt complete and connected with my heart. I got in the cab and gave the cab driver a coupon as payment for the ride. As the ride began, I closed my eyes and began meditating. Almost instantly, I was reliving the night that just passed.

We had a beautiful sharing about a prayer that happened to bubble up that was “Dear God, take my heart.” I started saying that prayer several months before we talked about it. I was just beginning to understand the beauty of what I was saying. If God took my heart, my mind wouldn’t control my heart. My love would be pure without ego’s control. The past or the future wouldn’t affect what I was feeling in the moment. It would be unconditional and would manifest by the way the wisdom of my body responded to my external world.

As I shared that with Amy, she said “how do I fit in to that?” I told her that was the love I shared with her. That quality of love can’t be shared with just anyone, for it seemed I needed to find that special person, which in Judaism is called your Bashert. Here is a poem I wrote in July, 1995. I feel I have been searching for her all of my life. I have had loving partners in my life, like with Judy for over 16 years. Though we loved each other, we both felt there was something missing. That was the time I struggled with my illness and her love helped both of us to deal with the struggles we faced. Judy was a single mother of two boys and was dealing with a divorce with a very egotistical man. With all the handicaps I was dealing with, she suffered from her struggle more than I did with mine. Our support for each other really was a blessing for both of us.

Here is my 1995 poem which captured what I mean:  Poetry was the way I dealt with things I really didn’t understand. This comes from a depth that is deeper than logic and even if it wasn’t a good poem, I creatively grasped what it meant. At the time the poem was created, I hadn’t found her yet, but I couldn’t stop searching. Here it is:

I have a feeling that comes from a depth within,

A long time ago I loved a woman

We said forever and this life is our test.

I think we both have struggles to deal with so trauma erases the              past,

And we have to share the moment’s purity together.

My recognition of her is faintly heard,

But once we share the moment together our connection can’t be            hidden.

My life has to be a test,

For I strive for purity in everything I do.

My connection to God is in silence,

With a purity free from the thinking mind.

Romantic love demands the same silence,

And I expect the same quality.

I don’t want just a beautiful body,

I want to share my connection to God.

I knew I had a purpose in this life,

And I feel finding my Bashert with a Divine Love

Captures that purpose completely.

 

I wrote this poem long before I met Amy and though I said I met my bashert a long time ago and I barely could hear her, I think that was in a past life. I said I would love her forever and I feel forever goes far beyond the time we are living in. Somehow, I knew we would both have struggles and I knew it was happening as soon as we shared a moment together.

 

 

Now back to my Wednesday memory of Tuesday. When I shared with Amy my symptom list, she remembered the times where I blanked out, as though I fell asleep. When I did, she called me back. It was a nice experience coming back from nothingness into a loving moment, but at the same time I wonder where this black-out time is leading me to. Coming back to a loving moment makes my hassles easier to deal with.

She is going through difficult times with her speech and her thinking, like mine, is affected. Her walk and her ability to stand are becoming harder. Her difficulties actually strengthen our bond, for I feel comfortable as we both struggle with challenges we cannot control. I feel the love that connects me to the essence of my life is the love that entwines our hearts together.

The other day I wondered what our future would be, but I know the love we share today will be there. Our health will be a challenge for both of us, but we will be together till the end, loving each other. We said we can’t imagine living without the other, so I pray the rest of our lives will be a celebration of what we have in the moment. In many ways our life seems to be slowing down, but on the other hand I fantasize exciting times we could share. When I share a fantasy with Amy, we get into it and then realize our health wouldn’t allow that to happen. I still think our fantasies would be possible, so I don’t want to give them up.

 

Let me share what happened when I moved to Michigan. In 2008, my Mom’s health took a turn for the worse. My Mom and I had a deep, even spiritual relationship. Her love came with an incredible wisdom and it manifested through her as an amazing mother. The beautiful part of our relationship was she was a great mother and also my best friend. So when the threat of death seemed as though death could be around the corner, I left California and my life for over 25 years and went to be with her.

I continue to see Dr. Irani, the MS specialist. In 2014, I began seeing Dr. Adam Marks, a pain management specialist in Palliative Care.  From there, I was in Hospice for 3 months and then I returned to Palliative care, a step below Hospice. I get amazing attention from the nurses and the head of the Palliative Care program.

Actually my Mom and I were in Hospice at the same time. After my Mom learned about me being in Hospice, she often said “I hope I die before you.” She was closer to death than I was, but I understood her perspective.

The reason I brought my Mom into the picture as I talked about Amy, was that Amy and I visited my Mom every Saturday for years before she died. Sharing that part of my life with Amy and seeing her and my Mom connect with love, created a strong bond between Amy and me.

Now I want to share about another amazing person in my life. Eeta has been an amazing friend and an incredible care-giver. She understands my health care much better than I do. She takes control of my medicine; she orders it when I run out and sorts the 38 pills I take daily into the 6-hr intervals. She not only takes care of my medicine needs, she helps me with transportation to doctor appointments and joins me in them.

After I tell the doctor my view of what’s happening with me, because I sometimes forget, she fills in what I forgot to share with the doctor. She records and remembers what the doctor recommends. She helps me with more than my medical needs; she does what I need help with around my apartment. There is a special kind of love that happens when you appreciate someone and I feel it with Eeta.

 

On Tuesday I had a meeting with Dr. Marks to review my symptoms. Eeta and I made a list of 8 symptom’s to talk to him about and before he came, we had 12 symptoms.

We talked about different areas of pain and he adjusted the amount of pain pills I should take. There was a symptom concerning my left eye was going more blind.  I also complained about my thinking and the inability to concentrate and follow conversations, or even TV movies. This makes it difficult to be social and interacting with family and friends.

After his meeting I saw the inability to see caused a disequilibrium that affects my concentration. It isn’t easy to really concentrate when you are not used to seeing as good as you did before. I haven’t adapted to not seeing well and it affected my thinking problems. I hope this will change soon, or at least that I adapt to it quickly.  I think this is a recurring process; I will get a new symptom and it will take time to adapt to it before it becomes a part of me. Then, unfortunately, it will probably happen again.

I benefit from making a symptom list to go over with my doctor. I feel it organizes my mind and just by stepping back I deal with symptoms better.  Another benefit of the list is that it makes it easier to share my problems with the doctor and with other interested people. My symptoms are difficult to deal with, but when they are received with love, it is easier. Thank God, I have a lot of love in my life.

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Entering the Conscious Moment

Imagine the conscious mind as a portal for consciousness to enter your life. When you are in a Conscious Moment without any leaks, you are connected to an unlimited consciousness.  Unfortunately that moment can have leaks, where consciousness leaks out.  These leaks are thoughts or mental conditioning that grab your attention and too often become repetitive.

A commitment is where you give your all in a relationship and share a Conscious Moment. In relationship with God, to give yourself 100%, you cannot have leaks that drain consciousness from the moment. Leaks like attachments, thoughts you cannot control like desires and emotions like anger or fear, drain consciousness and limit how much you give of yourself. That relationship would have a limited commitment and a limited quality of experience.

When the experience isn’t strong, theories fill in the blanks. Without a strong experience, commitments are weak and the whole relationship may be theoretical. Religious fanatics or people in storybook relationships may believe their relationship has a strong commitment, but their commitment is really to their mind. Even in that case, their love has that ability to break down theoretical walls and strong commitments can be developed.

This may sound like only yogis or high spiritual people can have strong commitments, but even if you limit leaks on the material level, leaks can easily happen. For instance, if a person enters a monastery to dedicate their life to a higher consciousness, the celibate person can have sexual desire, but that desire is a leak.

My parents weren’t spiritual, but their commitment was incredibly strong. I feel no matter what your situation is, that Conscious Moment exists for you. I think the purpose of life is to strive to a moment without any leaks. Be it with God or your lover, a Conscious Moment is amazing.

Here is a simple 4 step process I teach for entering the moment:

  1. Realize that you can have a Conscious Moment and be willing to enter it.
  2. Get away from the idea, ‘I can’t do it.’
  3. Take a breath that is free from your thoughts; imagine breathing into silence.
  4. Relax and a complete breath takes you into the Conscious Moment

If you practice this for about 5 minutes before you go to sleep and upon awakening for at least 10 days, this will become a habit. Then when you are in a loving moment or a deep communication with God or your lover, that Conscious Moment is there for you without you even having to think about it.

The Police/Minority Struggles

The struggle between the police and minorities, especially African Americans, continues. We need to develop a new perspective to better deal with it. When two people interact, there is a lot more communication besides what is heard or seen. On a subconscious level, the body reacts to subtle communications that come from fear, a feeling of being more powerful and the feeling of not respecting the other person. It is that level of communication that triggers the fight/flight response. When that trigger happens and both individuals have a fight response, unconscious interactions can happen.

To change from two fight reactions interacting, change has to happen on a level that goes deeper than logical thinking. Habits need to develop so calm interactions happen. When an interaction happens from an anxious mind, poor subconscious communication happens. The ego can identify with poor subconscious communication, like the police having a superior attitude towards African Americans. On the other hand, a black man can have a resistance to authority figures. You can see that to solve this problem, the solution is for both people to become more conscious in the moment.

In the moment of real combat, one would automatically fall back on conditioned habits or become conscious in the moment. To accomplish that conscious state of mind, one has to let go of the ego they identify with. This may be asking people too much, but it is possible for everyone to accomplish that goal–at least to attempt to do that. In many police and minorities, the desire to serve and become more conscious can override that attachment to their past conditioning.

Here are several examples of ordinary people becoming selfless in the moment. When a person deals with a life-threatening illness, this can happen, if it helps them to heal better. It happens when athletes enter the zone to perform better and it even happens in a sincere loving moment.  It can happen in religious or spiritual moments or even for women in childbirth; there are many examples of ordinary people going beyond oneself and entering a conscious moment.

It is understandable that police have to be super-aware in every interaction. The previous examples happen naturally, without the individuals thinking about going beyond themselves. Even though the police have to be super-conscious in the moment and ready to react to any threat, they can develop habits that make them aware of what they communicate. Individuals in the minority communities that react to authority figures also need to be conscious of what they communicate.

Police need to learn this when they are training and individuals need to learn this from childhood. When people realize these subtle communications are as important as what they say or do, the art of communicating would benefit everybody. I use the word ‘subtle’ here to represent non-verbal communication, but when you are only focused on thinking, it is easily ignored.

There are many ways to consciously condition the subconscious mind, but the first step is you need to “want to do it.” We trust what is important to us. If you see this as being important, you will trust you can accomplish this goal. If you see your conditioned ego is more important than becoming conscious, change is impossible.

To communicate this to the police, it has to originate from their commander. It has to be presented to them in a way that would not limit their awareness, but would actually make them more aware of the subtleties they encounter. In minority communities, this has to be presented at an early age, so they grow up being sensitive to how they communicate. When both sides see how they could benefit from conscious communication, they would be more open to develop this subtle awareness.

How to Approach Health Struggles

I was once talking to a person who was dealing with lupus. I asked her how she was doing. She immediately went down a list of the things that she was dealing with. I could tell that with certain symptoms she was dealing with, her voice showed her concern. I mentioned to her that I thought more important than the symptom, was how she approached it. We both were dealing with chronic illnesses. I knew that, in my situation, I didn’t have complete control over the symptoms, but I did have control over the state of mind I approached them with.

I believe our struggles become more difficult to deal with when we approach them with an anxious mind. When we are more conscious, our emotions like fear and self-doubt are not the major focus. To me, being conscious elevates me above the situation, so I can tap inner resources without thinking. When I just surrender to my thinking mind, I might be logical about what I am doing. What follows that logic is my emotional reaction, but when I go beyond thinking, my mind is calm. The way I deal with something that is terribly wrong with me comes from a place that is free from an emotional reaction like panic. To me, there is a higher level of interacting with struggles that is beyond thoughts or emotions.

I took karate for a long time and I loved sparring in tournaments.  An important lesson I learned was in a fight. Even if you got hurt, an emotional reaction would limit your ability to fight. The best fighting came from a calm mind and a relaxed body. I take that lesson into dealing with my chronic illness. The way I deal with negative events is to come from a calm mind. Of course, it took years of training to develop this calmness, but I feel it is never too late to start striving for that state of mind. You may think it takes a lot of discipline to be that way, but the simple truth is that all you have to do is just control your focus and control your breathing.

Even though this control is desperately needed when dealing with a struggle like poor health, it is impossible when your thinking mind is more important than breathing. To communicate this practically, I would encourage you to meditate, to attain that calm state of mind. To understand my way of thinking, read my earlier blogs or clicks on the articles link.

Creating a Conscious Self-Image

Who we are seems to be the most important issue in our life. Our personality is how the world knows us. It was created from the habits we learned beginning as a very young child. We developed those habits by the way people related to us, especially the significant people in our family. Also, the habits formed by the way we related to the external   world helped teach us who we are. The personality is like the clothes we wear; it covers us so we are accepted

Our self-image is how we relate to ourselves. This also was primarily developed by habits from our personality, but it is our self- image that is connected to the Wisdom of the Body. A conscious self-image was from conscious habits, where you were in the moment with a positive perspective. A conditioned self-image came from your conditioned habits and is not connected to inner wisdom. A conditioned self-image is not bad, but it is a negative self-image because of its limitations in connecting to the moment. A conditioned or negative self-image makes your awareness stop at your habits. The conscious or positive self-image allows awareness to go beyond conditioning and connect to the Wisdom of the Body.

As an adult, we have a choice with what image we relate to: the one conditioned by our environment or a self-image consciously created connected to the Wisdom of the Body. When a person faces a challenge they were not taught to deal with, they will ideally create a conscious self-image. This is especially true when dealing with a chronic illness. The Wisdom of the Body has powerful inner resources to enable you to become an active partner with the doctor and not become a victim. This is also true in having a loving relationship, having a job that challenges you and having a quality life, regardless of what you do or own.

Most people are so identified with their conditioned self-image, they don’t put energy into developing a new self-image. This can happen in many ways, but you need to be open to submit yourself to a change. A positive self-image can be developed in a loving relationship, a rewarding job or with many types of recognition in any part of a successful life. Success isn’t limited to being wealthy, for many people who are wealthy do not live a quality life as a whole person.

It is possible to create a positive self-image when you are trapped in the world of your negative or conditioned self. If you look back in your past and identify with the most positive experience you remember, you will find a time where your body experienced the effect of a positive self-image. Unfortunately, that part of you wasn’t reinforced over time, so you didn’t create the habits needed for a positive self-image.

It is never too late to build on that experience and develop a new conscious self-image. In fact, sometimes it is essential to develop a positive one, even though your habits formed in the past may not reinforce this change. Having the new self-image to fit into your life, you need to consciously re-condition your sub-conscious mind. This can happen if you consciously connect to the new self-image before you go to sleep and upon awakening. This is when the doors to the sub-conscious are open and strong habits can be developed. It takes about ten days to develop a strong habit, so you have to do this conditioning in the morning and at night. To do this, recall the memory of that positive experience and feel it.

In my book, The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life, I lead you through a technique that connects you directly to your positive self. There are many ways I show you to develop a strong habit. One way is to create a journal, where your negative self expresses itself to your positive self. This develops a habit of thoughts directed to your positive self and an openness to receive with your positive self. I show you techniques to switch quickly between your negative and positive self. I go more in depth on how to program your sub-conscious and how to connect to your positive self by just a word or a phrase. This book goes into depth with techniques using your positive self to develop qualities like confidence and the ability to complete unfinished business.

Here are the benefits of a conscious/positive self-image: In relationships, when the positive self of one person relates to the positive self of another person, there is a strong commitment. In a romantic relationship, the expression of the heart becomes very easy and the commitment becomes stronger. At work, you do your job more efficiently, more creatively and with a better attitude. In a spiritual sense, you have an easier time transcending to a depth beyond unfinished business and with a heartfelt approach connecting to God, or whatever you believe in. Basically, your conscious/positive self creates a high quality of life.

Entering the Conscious Moment With Commitment

Imagine the conscious mind as a portal for consciousness to enter your life. In a conscious moment, where lovers share tenderness, that moment is charged with simple love. In a conscious moment, when you are alone, that moment is charged with a loving connection with God. When you are in a conscious moment without any leaks, you are connected to an unlimited consciousness.  Unfortunately that moment can have leaks, where consciousness leaks out. These leaks are thoughts or mental conditioning that grab your attention and too often become repetitive.

A commitment is where you give your all in a relationship and share a conscious moment. In relationship with God, to give yourself 100%, you cannot have leaks that drain consciousness from the moment. Leaks like attachments, thoughts you cannot control like desires and emotions like anger or fear, drain consciousness and limit how much you give of yourself. That relationship would have a limited commitment and a limited quality of experience.

When the experience isn’t strong, theories fill in the blanks. Without a strong experience, commitments are weak and the whole relationship may be theoretical. Religious fanatics or people in story-book relationships may believe their relationship has a strong commitment, but their commitment is really to their mind. Even in that case, their love has that ability to break down theoretical walls and strong commitments can be developed.

This may sound like only yogis or high spiritual people can have strong commitments, but even if you limit leaks on the material level, leaks can easily happen; like the celibate desiring sex. That desire is a leak. My parents weren’t spiritual, but their commitment was incredibly strong. I feel no matter what your situation is, that conscious moment exists for you.

I think the purpose of life is to have your relationships to be 100% committed without any leaks. Be it with God or your lover, a conscious moment is amazing. Here is a simple 4 step process I teach for entering the moment:

  1. Realize that you can have a conscious moment and be willing to enter it.
  2. Get away from the idea, ‘I can’t do it.’
  3. Take a breath that is free from your thoughts; imagine breathing into silence
  4. Relax and a complete breath takes you into the conscious moment

If you practice this for about 5 minutes before you go to sleep and upon awakening for at least 10 days, this will become a habit. Then when you are in a loving moment or a deep communication with God, that conscious moment is there for you without you even having to think about it.

                I feel to live a complete life, you have to live in a conscious moment. I could feel disappointed in my life without health, wealth and my own children, but I feel fortunate to sometimes have conscious moments. I know people in my family that have them all. If I could have any of health, wealth or a conscious moment, I am glad my focus is on having a conscious moment and super happy to have someone to share it with-Amy.

Entering the Conscious Moment

Entering a Conscious Moment is where commitments are created; this is what this Blog is about. We operate our life in our conscious mind. This is where we think and perceive the world around us. Consciousness is what allows us to experience our perceptions and conceptions. Now, think of your mind as an empty bowl. Consciousness enters that bowl and fills it up to be a conscious moment. When we share a conscious moment with someone, there is an experience of simple love. We do not remain in this state because that bowl has leaks, where our consciousness goes to the past or the future.

A conscious moment is when you are totally present in the ‘now.’ There are many ways our consciousness leaves the now. We can have attachments, suppressed desires, conditioned habits and unexpressed emotions. It is a powerful experience to share a conscious moment with another person. A committed relationship is not based only on agreements or decisions; it begins with a conscious moment and naturally grows from there.

Committed relationships are not limited to romance. They can be between friends, working partners or even within yourself in relationship to God. What weakens commitment is when your consciousness leaks out from the moment or you lose contact with the experience of sharing a conscious moment it is easy to fall into a conceptual relationship. That relationship would have a limited commitment and a limited quality of experience.

 Here is an important question;

Why live your life with an empty bowl?

Dissatisfied With Your Body Image?

How to Deal With a Body Image You Are Not Satisfied With

I have personal experience in dealing with a body image that is difficult to accept. I have had MS for 35 years and my body is broken. I have many opportunities to be frustrated with my inability to stand, to get up after a fall or to see clearly. These create a body image that I cannot really control. Instead of giving up and just being a victim, the most I can do is to control what perspective I look at my broken body with.

We live in a society today that teaches us the correct body image. Actually, there is no such thing as the correct body image, just like there is no such thing as a correct smile. If you think your body image is incorrect for you, you might look at it from a different perspective. It may be easier to change how you interpret your body image than going through a torturous process to reach the right weight, right looks or the right posture. This article will explore how the state of mind that you are in determines how you judge yourself.

Judgments are usually based on and shaped by what other people think. When we have the ability to not be limited to the cage of other people’s judgments, we may find the ability to have unconditional love. Often, when we think of love, we think of loving other people. Although that is valuable in our life, we need to love ourself unconditionally. That means that no matter what you think other people think about you, you have to go deep enough to be free from judgments.

The way you know that freedom is to look at your breath. All of your worries, stress, guilt and fears affect your breathing. If you find that state of mind where your breath flows through you without any resistance, you will be free of judgments. I call this the Easy Breath. The reason is that this breath is not limited by your mind. It creates a perspective that allows you to see things without any judgments, without any shoulds, but to accept just as it is.

When it comes to your own body image, can you see it with unconditional love? You may think this is impossible, but look at your focus. Your focus is on the thought, your interpretation and sometimes how other people would interpret you. This may seem like a giant step, to go beyond your thoughts, but it is as easy as just focusing on your breath.

Look at our society today; there are thousands of diet clinics and techniques to help you attain the body image that you want. These are great tools and can definitely help you, but you have to look at how you use external resources. When you are in a clear state of mind, free from anxiety or disappointment of how you see yourself, you will have a better ability to tap inner resources to help you use external resources. Approaching them with self-doubt, the attitude “I just can’t do this,” or any negative self-judgment means these external resources will not be as effective.

The first step of any path to improve yourself has to be the state of mind that you start from. This path may not be so easy, but dealing with your own self-image in your mind could be the easiest thing on this path. Most people think that is an impossible task to control, but it is your own resistance that makes it difficult.

Think of someone that loves you unconditionally and imagine them accepting you exactly as you are. Now since you imagined that, your mind created that experience. & show that love to yourself. When you accept that love, notice your breath. Relax so your breath effortlessly floats through you.

Practice this before you go to sleep and upon awakening, do this imagery for about 10 days & this will become a useful habit. Then, when you need that unconditional love for yourself, just take an Easy Breath and feel loved.

The solution to the question of how to deal with a body image you are not satisfied with is simple; look at yourself from an unconditional, loving perspective and do not judge yourself.

The Habit of Being Open

The idea of being open often refers to being able to accept new ideas. In this article, being open  to me means being able to accept a new state of consciousness.  One of the easiest things you can do has profound effects on the quality of your life; changing where your in-breath lands. We normally breathe into our thoughts, which gives life to what we think, but what would happen if we breathed into silence? When we breathe, our breath determines the level of consciousness that we operate from. This is a habit and it triggers our thought patterns, our behavior, our creativity and the ability to problem-solve. This is considered who we are or our ego.

Breathing into silence has our breath traveling deeper, freeing ourselves from our everyday consciousness and exploring the spiritual world of silence. Our breath floats beyond our thinking and lands in a place we are comfortable with. It is a way of conditioning our mind, so it happens spontaneously without our thinking about it.

I talk about this often in my writings. Here are some benefits I get from the habit of breathing into silence:

  • Sometimes I feel a beautiful state of love, for no reason at all. I could be alone, not even meditating, watching TV or having anything trigger it. I feel my heart expand and my breath floats to a depth
  • Before sleep; establishing a restful mind
  • Unfinished business; for instance, if I had an unpleasant experience that day and I keep thinking about it, breathing into silence frees me
  • Clear-minded communications, where I focus on one thing at a time, especially in a loving interaction or with prayers
  • Entering silence without unfinished business pulling you back into your mind
  • Creativity bubbles up from deep within. When my mind is receptive, I can receive creativity more easily
  • Dealing with disruptive thinking habits; ‘I can’t do this.’ ‘I don’t deserve this.’
  • Having a hard time remembering something. In the same way that creativity bubbles up and is received by my calm mind, what I want to remember is also received when my mind is calm
  • Waiting with nothing to do can make me impatient. With this habit, I feel it is a pleasure to have this time to simply receive

 

I believe this is one of the most important habits you can develop. I suggest, before you go to sleep at night and before you get out of bed in the morning, you practice breathing into silence for at least several minutes. This is how you can create a habit of breathing this way. By noticing its effect during the day and being pleased with it, you can reinforce it.

 

If you are interested in this way of thinking, you can check earlier articles and blog entries on this site. I have connected this consciousness to health issues in my books The Positive Self: Change Your Self-Image and You Change Your Life and A Healthy Way to be Sick.  In approaching death consciously, I wrote The End: A Creative Approach to Death and A Poetic View of Hospice.

Intrapersonal Communication and Healing

The human brain is an incredible creation and we have not yet scratched the surface of its real potential. The purpose of this article is to give you a framework for how to use your brain to perceive a broader view than we usually use. The majority of us have a constant focus on our thinking mind. This has been a necessity to advance society, science and personal interactions.  This new framework does not limit the potential of our mind, but it includes certain aspects of the brain that we overlook.

Start with the way we use our brain every day. This is the part of you that you identify as me; this is the way I am. This consists of all of our past conditioning, our intellect and our emotional patterns. When a person is satisfied with this, they have no desire to change it. When a person realizes they can go far beyond what is normal and better the quality of their life, they are very open to change. This article will not give you specific things to change, but it will teach you tools that will lead you into a different view of your life.

Let us look at how we interact with the world, which I call Interpersonal Communication. We do that with perceptions and conceptions, with thoughts and emotions, with goals and intellect, with hopes and dreams and all of the functions of the mind. This creates our personality and what we identify with. This group is where almost everyone focuses and thinks is reality. There is more that too often gets overlooked and that is what I call Intrapersonal Communications.

We all have the potential of developing Intrapersonal Communication. Because we are attached to our thinking mind, it is hard to connect to a beyond thought reality and experience higher states of consciousness. Our thoughts create a filter that limits our awareness. If you remove the filter, your awareness is not filtered and you can operate at a higher state of consciousness.   When we are open to that Intrapersonal Communication, the quality of life improves and we feel as though we are moved by a higher consciousness rather than our usual state of mind.

Most people have a dominant focus. Their focus is either primarily interpersonal or intrapersonal. To create a whole person, we have to harmonize these two perspectives, so that they work together. When we deal with issues of health, it is essential for us to be aware of how to use intra and interpersonal communication. A person who primarily uses interpersonal communication will look outside for the solution to their problem.  They will rely mostly on their doctor and medication. They will think about it, study it and feel prepared to meet that challenge. This is a very good way for a person with an interpersonal perspective to deal with it, but there are negative examples also.

For instance, if they are dealing with cancer and their grandmother and mother died from cancer, this will create worry and fear, which will inhibit the immune system. If they experience doubt in their doctor, they may not follow his directions wholeheartedly and may limit their ability to heal. You can see that there are positives and negatives to focusing on thoughts with interpersonal communication. No matter what you think, you have to go beyond your thoughts and be open to powerful inner resources to heal at your full potential. To do that you need to develop intrapersonal communications.

With interpersonal communication, your focus is external and with intrapersonal communication, your focus turns within. With an external focus, we are in a “doer” state of mind. With an internal focus, we have to develop a “receiver” state of mind. Instead of thinking and doing, you have to be open and receive powerful inner resources or the input of others. This is where the Wisdom of the Body actively participates in healing. If you are focused on thinking, inner wisdom gets a busy signal when it calls and inner resources get ignored.

Here is an example of not being receptive to another’s input. You go to the doctor with intense pain and fear of what is happening to you. When you share what is wrong with the doctor and you constantly focus on those thoughts, it is hard to hear what the doctor has to say. To be receptive, you have to develop intrapersonal communication, where the Wisdom of the Body receives what is said. If you are constantly thinking while talking to the doctor, it is hard to receive his advice without putting it into the folders you already believe in.  You have to develop intrapersonal communication, so it becomes a habit. Being receptive is not an on/off switch. You do not think, ’I am going to be receptive.’ It has to happen naturally after intrapersonal communication is developed.

Healing is a good example for having inter and intra communications work as a team. A life and death situation demands that teamwork, but it is also needed in most of the actions we do. Communication is a good example. When the focus is mostly on interpersonal communications, you will be conscious on what you say and how you act. Of course that is important, but there is more. Intrapersonal communications may determine how you listen and receive new ideas.

To be a whole person, you have to use every part of your body harmoniously working as a team. This article deals with a major part of this, but actually, it only scratches the surface.  Making discoveries like this creates an awe to this incredible mystery…keep going because this is an endless journey.

© 2015 Marc Lerner