This article deals with something so subtle that we seldom know it exists. That is where you place your focus during the day. Is it on your thoughts? Is it on your feelings? Or, is it on the combination? The combination is definitely used by a majority of people. This article will help you create an equal balance.
The easiest way to study this is to step back and objectively view it. To help you do that, we will create nicknames for each kind of focus. The reason we give nicknames to these characters is that it brings you closer to the characters, while the nickname represents how you feel about thought or feelings.
1 Give a nickname to the part of you that focuses on thinking _______________ (for instance, if a person was cheated and hurt by a business transaction, that nickname could be ‘anger.’) This part of you I consider being the “Doer,” for it identifies with thoughts and actions. It controls feelings with logic. Because the reaction of anger is so dominant, the subtle feelings that can help the person can be overlooked. A rational thinker often sees their thoughts as reality. Attachments happen when you identify with that thought and can’t let go of it.
The Doer files everything in the folders in their mind. If there isn’t a folder it fits in, they can’t process it or they ignore it. The Doer feels a disequilibrium until the new folder is created because it is difficult for the Doer to change their programming and grow. Very few people use this focus exclusively.
2 Give a nickname to the part of you that focuses on feelings ___________________ (for instance, for a person who is just going through an unhappy divorce, the nickname could be ‘hurt.’) This part of you is the ‘Receiver’ and is more intuitive than logical, more spontaneous than controlled. This part of you is free from emotional control by the thinking mind. The feeling part of you is more creative than logical, more “Receiver” than “Doer” and is open to grow and change.
We all have both qualities within us, but one quality may be more dominant than the other. What do you identify with the most? What represents you…I think or I feel? There are no right answers; this is to define where you place your attention the most.
On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is low & 10 is high:
Rate how much your focus is on thinking _________
Rate how much your focus is on feelings and intuition _________
After you see your ratings, the goal would be to create a balance between feelings and thinking. This does not have to be 50-50. It just can’t be that your dominant focus ignores the other. This could be the way you create that balance:
Pick an area of your life that bothers you the most. Using our rating scale from 1 to 10, rate how much of your focus in this area is on thoughts and how much is on feelings. Use the nicknames you created.
Let your 2 characters talk to each other.
Let your feeling character tell your thought character why feelings are important
Let your thought character tell your feeling character why thoughts are important
Let your feeling character tell your thought character why thoughts are important
Let your thought character tell your feeling character why feelings are important
The closer these character get to each other, a balance naturally occurs.