Forgiveness is a mental tool that frees you from the past. Where forgiveness comes from is as important as what is said. Coming from your Conscious Self means it is sincere, without any hidden message in it. When it comes from your Conditioned Self, unfinished business from the past can be hidden in what is said. For instance, if someone you work with does something that hurts you, you can forgive them in the spirit of getting the job done, but you still are hurt. If it comes from your Conscious Self, you are so in the moment, the past doesn’t affect you.
Your intention has to be positive to whom you forgive or the Conditioned Self takes over. The goal subconsciously has to be connected to your heart or you will never let go, so real forgiveness cannot happen. Sometimes when you have to forgive other people, the simple solution may be having pure love flow through you to the other person. It is better to have the experience of forgiveness than the experience of whatever you hold onto. A sincere forgiveness is good for the one forgiven and it is good for the one who forgives, because the experience of not holding on to anything in the past brings you deeper into the moment.
Sometimes you have to forgive yourself. This is where your Conscious Self forgives your Conditioned Self. This maybe the hardest forgiveness to happen. To forgive yourself, you have to totally be in the moment without any identification with what is forgiven. Say you have to wash the floor. Where you stand is what needs to be forgiven. Now, how do you wash the floor you are standing on? You have to rise in consciousness, so that you are separate from what has to be forgiven.
When consciousness is elevated, your whole being elevates and you are free from the past. From that perspective, you are able to forgive yourself. It is why it is hard to forgive yourself, because elevating consciousness is not what most people do. It is easier to stay in the consciousness we live with than to change it. If everyone raised their consciousness, family feuds and the high number of divorces would be limited and solitude would be a beautiful experience.